What do I know?

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I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Addison Road - What do I know of Holy?

February

February is a tough month.  This one marks the two year anniversary since we started trying to have a child.  I've been dreading reaching this milestone.  I've also been dreading the completion of our home.  I know that sounds really weird - but it's provided a much needed distraction from our infertility process over the last few months.  In a way, our hearts, souls, time, energy, and sanity were all poured into the progression of taking a run down, bank owned house and creating a home for ourselves.  While we continued to actively try, we let all medical help go by the wayside while our finances, time, and energy went into this process.  Now, I am working full time (which is stressful enough on its own), we have moved into this completed home, and we'll be faced yet again with all the questions - do we continue with IUI procedures?  Can we even afford to do so without any insurance coverage (each cycle we choose this route will cost a considerable amount of money)?  Which fertility center in the Big City will we choose?  At what point do we stop pouring money into the process of trying to have our own, and instead begin saving for an adoption procedure?

So, now that the house is done - I'm terrified of facing days again where the pain is so overwhelming that I can only function at a surface level at best to keep it at bay.  Not to mention that this house is far too large for the two of us.  Lots of empty space to haunt me.

However, I now have a practically brand new home.  It's incredible, and beautiful.  I can't believe what my husband, his dad and brothers, and lots of very dear friends, were able to accomplish in just three months.  It's a beautiful home, and while we still have projects to finish and unpacking to do...it's our home.  We live in this house now, and anxiously await the perfectly orchestrated situation to come along and our trailer to be sold.

Proverbs 14:1
"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."  Lord, help me to be a wise woman, one who will take this home and build it up for you, for her marriage.  Jesus I plead that you give me the patience I lack, heal me of the anger that flares, and help us to live each day for its own purpose and not look only toward the future that we cannot predict.  Please, Lord, don't allow me to tear down this home with loss of hope, with lack of trust, or with selfishness.