National Adoption Month

So - November is National Adoption Month!  I've loved it because I am hearing about adoption all over the place - I feel like Focus on the Family's broadcasts have been adoption focused every time I turn on the radio.  Specifically, today is National Adoption Day.  Our agency was probably pretty darn busy, as many families wait until National Adoption Day to finalize their adoptions in court (this usually takes around 6 months after consents are signed, so many simply wait for this special day).  It's a really big deal in Maricopa county - the courthouse area is a literal fair with bounce houses, food, and all kinds of stuff for adoptive families to come and enjoy while they celebrate.

It's interesting to be right smack in the middle of our certification process during this month.  It's a paradigm because this month is huge for celebration - yet, we are in the midst of what I *hope* is the hardest thing we ever do after infertility (yes, I, too, am sure I just jinxed it).  It's hard to explain this process.  I think one of the easiest cliches is that we constantly feel like "we're under the microscope."  We know that God is honoring the deepest desire of our hearts for parenthood through adoption - and we are truly beyond excited that He's guiding us through this journey.  But you have to understand that so many people just get to be parents - even unintentionally in lots of cases.  For us to be parents, we've gone through the valley of incredible pain.  We've been fingerprinted.  Exposed.  Investigated.  We have had the most intimate, vulnerable aspects of our life brought to light.  Our insecurities uncovered and delved into.  We know it is worth it.  And we know God is in control.  But our human moments get the best of us sometimes.  And we feel defensive, and even discouraged sometimes.  And the journey's hardly started!

We have what might be our last visit this Monday in Phoenix, for our infertility grief assessment.  They may choose for us to take their newer personality test, and if that's the case we'll have another appointment sometime to go over the results from that.  We take each step in faith and with confidence that God's got us!!!  We always assumed we would be certified and waiting before the year ended - but we're learning early that (yes, again and as always) our plans are not God's plans!

In the meantime, we covet your prayers for peace and patience - and for our excitement and trust to overwhelm anything else that comes up.  We know that there's so much more unknown to come - we need the Lord to help us through it!!

Happy National Adoption Month - hopefully, and prayerfully, our last one without children!!!

Adoption Education

Okay...so I promised a while back that I would write about some of the things we've learned SO FAR through our adoption journey - adoption language, open adoption, adoption not being plan "B", the fact that adoption does NOT replace the pain of infertility, etc.

So, first up - positive adoption language (see a great summary article here).

Here's a few words/phrases that I never realized were hurtful or inaccurate until I started really learning about adoption:

1. "real parents" - our child will have birth parents (or, biological parents), but we will be their real parents, the ones making everyday parenting decisions, providing for him/her, the ones raising him/her (we're not imaginary, as opposed to "real")
2. "giving up a child for adoption" - our agency uses the word "placement".  The birthparents in our special situation will choose to place their child - an extremely painful, courageous choice.  
3. "she's going to keep it" - if, in the end, God leads a birth mother/parents to have a change of heart, she is choosing to parent, instead of choosing to place.

I hope this helps!  These terms have already become a completely natural part of our vocabulary, and I hope they will for you, too.