Agony? Or am I overreacting?

Alright - so, we're still waiting.  I would love to say that I've managed to recently connect to Jesus in a deeper way in this, to cling to His plan and know in my deepest parts that it's the best possible plan.  Unfortunately, my eyes keep wandering and really, I've just been in agony.  I worry, I plot, I prepare some more, and I hang onto the sliver of hope for dear life.  Each day gets so much harder.  Each waiting family with our agency we see get matched and be blessed with the little one meant for them is like a tiny stab to my heart.  I am continuing to see milestones pass that I once looked ahead to and thought, "Of course we'll have our little one by then!".  And my heart aches.  And aches and aches and aches.

But, this morning, I was listening to a CD put together by my best friend, who has faithfully led a small group of women in a wonderful Bible study over the last year plus.  We had a worship night quite some time ago, and she gave us each a CD of the songs we listened to and worshiped with that night.  On it is a song that this gal's husband vulnerably shared with Ben & I just a few months ago.  It was hard for me to hear it then as a reminder of the possibility of where my heart could actually be in faith, and it's still hard now.  But it's an incredible reminder that our trust in Him CANNOT be circumstantial.  Our trust and rejoicing has to be based in what He did for us. 

Please, Jesus, help me overcome my unbelief.  Help me live these words (the entire song is below):

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Listen here

The Desert Song

Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow