Motherhood

I have been having a hard time composing this post because it's so difficult to describe all the things I've felt since becoming a mother!!!  It's absolutely the whirlwind everyone describes, compounded by the fact that we had two weeks to prepare for our little one's arrival, instead of the normal 9 months.

Every moment does fly by.  There is more truth in this statement that I ever could have imagined.  I recently looked back at some of Nora's brand new pictures - and cannot hardly remember her being THAT tiny and frail.

Nora, at just 5 days old

I tear up, actually, to think that this stage of her life feels so far away.  That the days of her resting on my chest, with no wiggles or anywhere to go, are long gone...  That the days of her snoozing on me, with me, also appear to be over.  That her preemie and newborn clothes are packed away, and her 0-3 months will be soon as well.  I do not, however, miss feeding her every two hours in the middle of the night.  Let's be clear on that :).

I tear up when I think about how much she's developed.  That she now has a personality, smiling and talking all the time, especially with mom and dad.  That she gives me a great big smile every time she sees it's me getting her up in the morning or after naptimes.  That she's a happy little girl who loves to wiggle and move and not so much snuggle anymore.

Little Miss up on her arms during tummy time for the first time!

Today, Nora rolled over for the first time (from her tummy to her back)!!!!!!!!  It was such an incredible moment, to watch her do this amazing thing that her tiny little body just learned how to do.  That God designed her to grow in ways that will allow her to reach all these milestones.  It was also terrifying, to know that she is now moving.  Like, REALLY moving.  So not only does this mean that my infant is becoming a little girl (way hard on Mommy right now), but it also means that we're entering a new stage with her and are now parents who have to closely watch her!  

Motherhood is a whirlwind.  TRUTH.  There is SO MUCH JOY in watching your child grow that I can't even begin to express in words.  I think, too, alongside everything else, there is something more, as there always will be in the world of adoption.  I feared for so long that there would be moments that my child wouldn't feel 100% like my child, having not carried her for 9 months, not nursing her, knowing her in the incredibly intimate way most mothers will know their children.  And though there have been fleeting moments like that along the way...Nora is my daughter.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she knows me as Mommy and I love her more than I ever imagined.  Sometimes I wonder if loving a biological child is the same - and I suppose I may never know that.  But I love Nora and there is no disconnect between her and me.  It's just not there.

There's so much more I want to say about motherhood, but since I've gone on long enough already...stay tuned.  :)

Mommy and Nora