Inadequate

According to TheFreeDictionary.com, the definition of inadequate is:
inadequate [ɪnˈædɪkwɪt]

adj

1. not adequate; insufficient

2. not capable or competent; lacking

This particularly defines how I feel today, and something I struggle with a lot in my life.  Today, I was ready to give up.  Today, I wanted to be mediocre and not care.  Today, I wished that I was fine with less than perfect.  Today, I wanted to hide from all my job responsibilities and pretend I don't feel incompetent

Infertility makes me feel inadequate too.  The voices in this world, and often in my own head, tell me that I'm not whole because I can't procreate.  That I'm incomplete, inadequate.  That I'm lacking.  And really, my own desires tell me these things more than anything else.  My heart aches because this longing is so deep within - longing to be a mother, to see Ben be the most amazing dad.  The longing to raise children in a house that loves Jesus.

But, the eloquent words of Sanctus Real (you can listen here) remind me that

"When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

When I don’t measure up to much in this life

Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause I’m forgiven, I’m forgiven"

And God reminds me through his own Holy Word that I have nothing to fear in this life in Isaiah 51:

 ¹²"I, I am he who comforts you;

   who are you that you are afraid of man who dies,

   of the son of man who is made like grass,

¹³and have forgotten the LORD, your Maker,

    who stretched out the heavens

   and laid the foundations of the earth,

and you fear continually all the day

   because of the wrath of the oppressor,

when he sets himself to destroy?

   And where is the wrath of the oppressor?

Jesus - help me overcome my unbelief.  Help me to overcome these feelings of inadequacy.  Remind me that I mean enough to you that you know the number of hairs on my head and you see every tear that falls.  You know the deepest desires, you have given me the talents I have.  You have placed me in this job and your plan is what rules my life.  Help me to remember that you are GOOD and your mercy endures forever.  Remind me that your plan is to prosper me and not to harm me.  Help me to trust in your plan to give me hope and a future.