I Will Always Come

So - I've realized in life that I continually struggle with chasms between expectations and reality.  It's a gigantic weakness of mine.  For example - I will sit down with my weekly calendar, writing down all possible expected events and things to get done.  Then I will stare at it and get really (REALLY) worried about how little time there is to do it all.  Then, that week happens and I realize that we totally have time to have friends over for dinner.  And I totally have time to get a couple random projects done (that weren't on the list).  And certainly, I can make it to the Y for a workout.  And, of course I have time for a walk or playdate with a friend.  Yes, I can make my 19 hours of work WORK for our family.

AND REPEAT.  Sincerely.  This happens EVERY week.  I have never learned to remember that there's approximately 16 waking hours in a day and YES we really do have time to have a life.  And to plan in fun adventures instead of scrambling to make them happen when we realize we do have time.

So, another example is how I desperately want to create traditions and rituals for Nora.  Even though growing up, there were a few things that I knew would happen on certain days or for certain reasons (apricot coffee cake with Christmas breakfast, for example) - there weren't little celebrations of life or Jesus or family.  I crave for Nora to experience these things.  I long for her to grow up knowing that every night at bedtime, we share a special ritual, or that mom & dad always make Sunday breakfast together with music blasting in the kitchen.  Whatever these things are, I want to dream up each and every one and be prepared and not let a single opportunity pass by.  I want to be creative.  I want to be persistent.  And I want to be PRESENT.  Now, go back to aforementioned example.  Sound like those things fit together??  Not really.  :)

Anyway, all this rambling to get to my point.  I got to read this fantastic blog posted by a friend of mine on Facebook a while back: http://lisajobaker.com/2012/09/a-mothers-promise/.  I cried and cried and can't imagine what the rest of Nora's life will look like, but I would love to remember all the special moments and create all the special rituals possible!  I hope to someday be able to write something like this myself.  To stop worrying about every stage that's already gone.  To stop lamenting that my not-so-little baby hates to snuggle or cuddle right now.  And to finally stop worrying about all the things to come and just BE and have my daughter know that I will ALWAYS come.